Why I disagree with the term ‘Toxic Positivity’

The current buzzword in the world of pop-psychology is ‘toxic positivity’. It is everywhere. Every Instagram mental health page, self-help blogs, and mental health discourses are pointing out how toxic positivity is harmful for us.

While I absolutely agree that dismissing negative emotions is harmful, I find myself disagreeing with the term “toxic positivity” itself. Here’s why.

Emotions, in their essence, are neither positive nor negative—they simply are. We label them based on how they feel or their perceived social desirability. Positivity, traditionally framed as hope, optimism, or silver linings, is a coping mechanism. To call it ‘toxic’ is an oxymoron that misplaces the blame.

What we are essentially referring to when we say “toxic positivity” is emotional invalidation, avoidance, or emotional suppression. When someone says “just look at the bright side” to a grieving friend, it isn't the ‘positivity’ that is toxic, it is the dismissal of their pain. When we use positivity as a shield to deflect sitting with uncomfortable emotions, we are engaging in experiential avoidance.

By relabeling it as toxic positivity, we villainize the act of being positive, when the real culprit is our societal inability to hold space for discomfort and pain without rushing to “fix” it. We need to focus on building emotional tolerance, rather than demonizing optimism.